The Mega Quarry Picnic

So, after having lived down by the river with hippies for a fair length of time in my 20's, there is something quite comforting about the idea of eating and sharing a communal experience in the woods. So, when it came time to join with other concerned citizens in showing our support against the proposed Ontario Mega Quarry, it was a no brainier that I was happy to participate in Foodstock.

The premise of the event was to bring public attention to the issue of the proposed quarry that looks to be built north of Toronto.

Seventy chefs from all over the provence set up in the woods of a farm which neighbours the proposed open pit site. They came to cook and share their support against the exploitation of this prime farmland. Much of the food they cooked was food that was local and the product of the distinct soil to which the area is home.

Though it was cold and muddy, the proposed ten thousand people that were expected came out in masses and the final total of attendants reached an estimated 20 thousand.

Though the nibbles we had were delicious, it really wasn't about the food or the outstanding musical acts. It was about free speech, democracy and the power of the individual to be heard. Ok, and a good excuse to wear my Hunter wellies?

Yes, there could have been significantly more national news coverage, but already there is a larger group that is heeding the message of our need for sustainable farmland near the GTA.

Sure I suppose I could have occupied Bay street, but Dave and I chose to use our voices for a cause near to our hearts, and I can honestly say that it was truly inspiring to be a part if it.

The views as we marched with other supporters into the woods!

Delicious morsels in hipster containers

Mud could not keep us away

So it was a little chilly, but the chefs were prepared!

Can you see the foodies for the trees?

Yes, there were moments that seemed overcast. 

Imagine this as an open pit dug below the water table... no thanks!

For kids who grew up in Ontario in the 90's this is a shot of Hayden on stage!

A truly fitting end to the day! A rainbow of hope.

Who Lives Here? Martha Stewart?

So you can take the family out of the floral business, but...

This Thanksgiving we finally had a chance to gather together and have an unrushed family day.  Sure it was particularly special because we were not tied down to the shop, however the best part was that for the first time Dave and I could finally host our first holiday. Sure our dining room is in need of a few things, but I pulled out my best Martha Stewart and this is the result....

I also managed to whip up an awesome pecan pumpkin cake complete with fondant leaves and acorns. Damn, those acorns were more difficult to make than I first suspected.

And, of course, you cannot forget about the finer details of the flatware...

Then weeks later we were thrust into my favorite day of the year...

Halloween!!!

I think we are hated by the other people on the street, 'cause we are a little too focused on decorating for this particular day. 

I know this because one woman who came to the door with her brood of Trick or Treaters asked in a venomous tone, " is this where Martha Stewart Lives?"

Ok, sure the owl pumpkin was carved from an idea from Martha's web site. But why do people need to be so nasty on the best day of the year? Sure we have real fire and the pizzazz of pumpkins that are fancy, but we don't have a full grave year on the lawn...yet.

And besides, I never forget to pay an homage to my favorite classic childhood moment: The 'free hand carve'

To be completely honest... it is always the moment that gives me the most joy.

Friday Night Lights

All my life I have wished that I could live my life as if I were the character of a fabulous t.v. show.  As a child, it started off in the kitchen where I would host "Cooking with Erica".  I think that this behaviour was more acceptable to my mother than me having an imaginary friend because I was, in her mind, demonstrating my need for a connection to the greater audience of the world.  Little did she know it was really just because I had unrealistic dreams of grandeur.  As I grew, I took to breaking out of conversations only to address the imaginary audience that followed me with the occasional "aside".  Eventually this action proved a useful meter to gauge how patient my friends had become over the years with my t.v. dream.

Then it happened. Yes, finally I was going to have the opportunity to have my moment in the limelight. After years of waiting, my life would indeed include a prime-time moment, and that moment would come to me in the form a football game.

Though I no longer teach at my former school, I am still a bit of a diehard when it comes to school spirit.  My niece goes to the school, many of my friends still teach there, and to be honest, though I have mixed emotions about leaving, I still have a kinship to the place that will never die.  When I was a student, we did not have a football team; at least I don't think we did. So I did not have a chance to live out teenage moments at the football field.  Truth be told, even if I had had the chance, there's little chance that's where my friends and I would have been found!! Unless, of course it was under the bleachers or re-mounting a scene from Dazed & Confused.  However, for the last few years the school has been participating against its enemies on the field at a huge evening game at a "real" stadium.

The event is really something... very "U.S. high school football cliche". And who am I to avoid a good cliche?

So, this past Friday I made plans to go with my friend Leanna to Friday Night Lights.  God bless her heart, she is my side-kick on all my little romps.  We planned to meet my niece and friends at the game.  We packed our supplies: blankets, umbrellas, hot chocolate spiked with Bailey's (yes, we are the "bad" kids in the episode) and headed to Brampton toward the park with the bright lights.  To say I was excited is a gross understatement.

Once we arrived, I could not contain myself. Then, just as I exclaimed, "I finally get my cliche night", a woman stopped us in our tracks. "The game is cancelled; the Refs didn't show".  My mouth dropped open and my heart fell into the blankets I held to my chest. Leanna looked at me and let out an awkward laugh.  Then she saw my devastation.

Like a funeral march we made our way to the stands anyway.  I dropped off our stuff and went to see all the people we had planned to meet. The boys on the team were distraught when I went to greet them; I understood their pain. We mingled a bit amongst the hoards of disappointed. Then I made the choice to make the best of the situation. Damn it, I looked cute and I was not about to let the great stadium lighting go to waste.

Sooooo.........PHOTO OP!!!!!!

Obviously the best place to take a photo is on the field..... let's say right in the centre, shall we?

Oooohhhh...... Don't Debbie and Erica look great!

Yes Leanna, you are right.... we do look better and better in every photo tonight.

It doesn't look like there will be re-mount of the "big game" anytime soon.  So I suppose my dream will have to go on hold again. At least we tried to make the best of the situation... and really, isn't that all the character's in these shows do anyway?

Alive and Attempting to Kick- PART TWO : The Garage Sale Saga

Along with the major changes that have occurred with my new job change, an even greater change has been at the centre of our family. As of June 1st, my mother retired from her career as a florist and closed the flower shop we have owned for the past 18 years. Along with this change came my sister's choice to return to school to pursue her career as a lawyer; a dream she put on hold 18 years ago to be an outstanding floral designer.

My mother was absolutely ready for retirement, and the choice to close the shop rather than sell it came down to pure emotion. We were not willing to sell a family name. We had a three week long sale and cleared out a vast amount of inventory. What was left over was moved to my father's garage for a giant garage sale. Simple idea, right? Not quite.

Our family is not very well versed in the art of garage sales, so preparing for the event took weeks. When all was said and done, each and every item was priced, packaged and displayed. After three separate weeks of sales, almost all of our leftover items were sold. It was an exercise in patience and tenacity, but it was well worth it.

So what's next? Well, as fall approaches we cannot wait to enjoy our first holiday together; a celebration that will not be contingent on other people's needs or schedules.

Though the future brings change for all of us, I cannot wait to see what is in store for the future!

Alive and Attempting to Kick- PART ONE

Well, to say the least, it has been a long time since I have posted.  Truth be told, when life gets a little overwhelming I'm more of a head-down and plow through it silently kind of girl than one who shares it.  So much has happened since March that I'm not really sure I want to get into it in detail.  The fact is, I have kind of dealt with it and really don't want to rehash it much. However, I suppose I will address what needs to be addressed for posterity's sake and do so in the most direct and concise way possible... if there is a way to do so. 


WORK
I have absolutely loved being an English and Drama teacher, however, for almost three years I worked to have my school offer a Dance program.  When the province issued a special arts designation to the school I was finally able to achieve my dream and start my very own program from the barres and mirrors up.  The new program was part of an effort to draw students from outside boundaries to our school.  Though for a very long time we had been bursting at the seams (we had 635 graduates this year), we were now faced with a drastic enrollment decline thanks to a new school finally being built in a nearby town.  Though I won't get into the short-sighted nature of school locations, the result of the reduction in the number of students coming to the school  (this year will see only 155 grade 9's) has caused a school staff surplus issue the likes of which our school board has never seen.  Last year the school lost 27 staff and this year the school said goodbye to another 17.  


In the midst of all this chaos, I was personally having a crisis of profession.  I was feeling disillusioned with the state of the teaching profession, the idiocy of the union, and the quality of education we were providing our students.  When I changed professions and entered teaching, I did so with the express intention of making learning accessible to the students who were most at risk of failure and whose needs were not being met academically, emotionally, and psychologically.  Though I was doing my best in a traditional school setting to meet my goals as a teacher, I found that the red tape and bureaucracy was really getting to me.  I was hoping to have a spark reignited within me by starting the dance program, alas, I still found myself in a pretty dark place. 


It did not take long for me to realize that there was also something very wrong behind the scenes in the enrollment department.  Students were being called in to Guidance and being moved out of my dance course.  Being the only certified dance teacher, I had been saved from being surplus and moved to another school because I was needed to run my program. However, no students in the course, no program.  My program had become the target of student poaching for the livelihood of other programs.  Within three days, and completely under my nose, I had my program erased and I was told I was going to have to move schools with the hoard of other teachers who were also leaving.  I was devastated.  The fact that I was the teacher primarily responsible for the entire Grade 12 College English program did not matter either.  It was a seniority and union thing, I was told.


As if the speed with which this had all happened wasn't bad enough, I was told a school an hour away was interested in me because of my teaching specialties.  "Please tell me you are kidding me, right?" now I'm being asked to commute for a decent job too?  I was repulsed.  This had to be a window opening and not a door closing. I was ready to quit teaching before this chaos, maybe this was the stiff kick I needed to get out.


Then in an awesome twist of fate (which I completely do not believe in) God had me bump into a friend in the grocery store. I knew the moment I saw her and spoke with her that God was once again proving my need for patience should be worked on.  Long story not-very-short, she made me aware of a new location for my school board's alternative education program.  And, it was literally going to be down the street from the school I was leaving. This information had yet to hit the press.  There really were not any teachers willing to start the program at the site because of its location, and she suggested I speak to my principal.  So that's what I did.


The following day I walked into the principals office and asked about the proposed location. Once he confirmed it, I told him that that was where I wanted to be moved. Now, in most cases of teacher surplus in my school board, administrators trade teachers like an NFL draft to meet the various needs at different schools.  In the case of the alternative school, they do not enter into the draft with other schools because, as you can imagine, if an unwilling teacher were placed into this program, they would not be very happy. Well, far be it for me to be part of the norm!!!! Within three days of being surplus from my school, I made to choice to join the staff of Archbishop Romero. 


I will now be working at a suspension/expulsion school for students who have been removed  from school do to various reasons (most of which have legal ramifications), and I could not be more excited! I realize that with the giant size of my school board I am SO VERY LUCKY to have a job in the face of surplus. Our board guarantees a job somewhere, no matter what.   So many of my friends who are in small school boards have been surplus and find themselves jobless.  Further, unlike so many others, I had a choice of where I ended up.  


It has taken my family a bit of getting use to the idea of me teaching in a suspension/expulsion setting.  I have assured Dave that contrary to his worst imaginings, I will not be waring a Kevlar vest to work everyday.  The school has various locations as oppose to only one site, so I will learn the ropes at one of the existing sites and then I will move into the new location where I will be the one responsible for starting up the new branch of the program.  The stark reality of this particular job is that there is a very high burnout rate due to the nature of the role.  However, before I make a choice to leave the profession of teaching all together, I knew I needed to finally be immersed in the job I first entered teaching to do. No doubt this new chapter in my life will provide many stories to blog about in the the future.

Curious? No... It's more than that

Being that it is mid-term time and I am up to my eyeballs in marking, I am going to make this post short and sweet.  Below is a series of photos that have been taken of bananas that Dave bought three weeks ago.  They have been in the same sunny place for three weeks, yet they remain green.  Like, WTF?

You may ask, why would we buy green bananas in the first place.  Well, because even though we like bananas very much, our house has a crazy climate in which our fruit ripens at a rate similar to that of a country on the equator.  So, if we would like to enjoy our bananas without them going black by the end of the week, we must buy them green.

I AM DESPERATE FOR A BANANA!!!! Yet, still I wait.... Way to go Del Monte organic bananas, way to go!!!!

Week One- I am so hungry....

Week Two- I can feel the potassium leaving my body...

Week Three - I know bananas will be extinct in 20 years, but right now, I really can't remember  their sweet goodness...

For some reason these pictures added a yellow tinge to the fruit, but I can assure you, there is no yellow yet. None at all.

Stay tuned. 

March Break - Activity # 3

As per usual, we have used our holiday to do home renovations.  The first goal on Dave's list was to tackle the spare room.  Or rather, the Barney room as we had aptly named it. You see, when we moved in, the room had been a little girl's bedroom.  And for some reason, perhaps because this sweet 6 year old had been able to choose the colour, it was the colour of a popular  large dinosaur from the early part of the decade.  To say the very least, it was offensive.  

So, armed again with a giant pail of primer, Dave happily began to tackle this room as the next room in a series we like to call The Olden's Paint Everything.  

So far, we had painted the main floor powder room and the dining room and the study.  The powder room, if you remember from a past post, was the room with the lovely teal textured walls that needed to be sanded down and Greco-Roman light fixture that smoked from the halogen lights that were in it.  

This is it now:

The print on the wall is from one of my favorite Canadian artists, the late Norval Morrisseau.  He is considered the "Picasso of the North" and as an Anishinaabe artist his works feature the beauty of Canadian Aboriginal spirituality and mysticism.  This particular work is entitled A Branch From The Tree of Heaven.

Though not nearly as well known, Dave is also a skilled artist with a paint brush.  In later posts I will show the final result of the study and the dining room, but here, I actually managed before and after shots of the Barney room, so I figured I would post them ASAP.  

 There is something to be said for a man who has a thirst for painting.  Look at the sense of satisfaction he has as he rolls the last bit of primer over the abomination that was the purple walls.  Pure joy I tell you; that is pure joy!





I have a bit of a commitment issue when it comes to paint colours.  I know how absolutely temporary they are, but I still break into a sweat having to make the final decision in the paint store.  Inevitably, I always hate the colour for about two weeks after it goes on the wall. Here is the final result of our spare room.

It has all the furniture from the spare room in the old house (a.k.a. my old university furniture) , so I think maybe it is throwing me off, but it has only been a few days, so I have miles to go until I love it.  The main thing is, NO BARNEY!!!! And that's what counts isn't it?  

And as I type, Dave is filling the walls and sanding in the laundry room and bathroom.  I suppose I should get back to him. It is, of course, The Olden's Paint Everything, so that means  both of us...

March Break - Activity # 2

Our egg tree on the foyer table

So, I love Easter. That's right, Easter.
In fact, it is my absolute favorite holiday of the year (All Hallows Eve being the next runner up).  Faith aside, and believe me, most of the reason I love this holiday has everything to do with my faith, I think it is the most beautiful and hopeful holiday of the year.  In the colour department it is absolutely the most pretty, and in the season department it brings Spring. Who couldn't love Easter?

On the faith side, Easter ultimately means that we all have a new start. We can brush off the dust and crap like the Winter leftovers that remain from the thaw and like an Easter egg, we are given a chance for a fresh start at beautiful new beginning.  Easter and Spring bring us re-birth like a cuddly baby little lamb after a long time in the barn.  That's Easter to me.

My birthday is in March, and as a result, all my life I have received gifts that somehow had a connection to Easter.  At some point people began giving me bunnies and it became a birthday trend that turned into an homage of seasonal decor.  It also doesn't hurt that the scent of Easter lilies and hyacinths is the best smell on earth (next to a freshly tilled garden) and it is also my birthday smell, if you will indulge a person to have a birthday smell. So, as a result of combined celebrations,  I have embraced this holiday season by filling our house with all the Easter things I love.  Dave just smiles with that, "look how I managed to domesticate the wild one" look as I participate in these sorts of things.

This year I was determined to have an Easter egg wreath for our front door.  Dave humored me as we went on a hunt (no pun intended) for this egg wreath.  We searched high and low. I think I may have been in every shop in our town to find one, but to no avail. Those I found were either ugly or too small.  Then it dawned on me! Why not just make one? So I did...

I decided that the best place to make this project was at my family flower shop.  For 16 years I have had the luxury of easy access to supplies of the trade at my finger tips.  Though this was not at all going to test my floral skills, it gave me the excuse to hang out with my sister while I dipped my cute little eggs in the hot glue pan.

There was a need for me to scout out just the right eggs for this project.  The right melange of eggs is key to ultimate curb-appeal once on the door.  These were two sizes, some glittery and some beaded.

This is the standard wicker frame I decided to use.  Not too heavy but nice and strong.

This is the pile as I take a break from gluing.  They started off as eggs on a metal pick, so thanks to Max, I did not have to cut a million eggs off their wires!  That's love I tell you.

Here is the final product on our front door. Gone are the very yellowed Christmas containers and greenery.  Now we have a festive little purple urn with artificial forsythia and the ultimate egg wreath.  

I am thinking I might need to scout out an Easter door mat though, don't you think?  I pulled out our summer one and it's just not doing it for me.  The hunt continues... 

A Pre-Break Culinary Adventure

Just one more bite Davey... you can do it!

For over a year it has been a small goal of Dave and mine to dine at Nick and Nat's Uptown 21 in Waterloo. Early on in our relationship we realized that we might be what one calls a 'foodie', however Yuppie that may sound. The reality is, we love to eat, we love great food, and we are super critical...ok, maybe not critical, let's say discerning, and we are not afraid to try anything. In fact, for years we have thrown around the idea of writing our own critical reviews for hungry couples. Wow, I just realized the multi-layered context with which that last sentence could be interpreted!


Anywho, back to the subject at hand, Nat and Nick's. Dave and I were cursed with never finding the time when this cute little secret of a restaurant was open to partake in its awesomeness; then it happened, last weekend we finally ate there! And let me tell you, it was WELL WORTH THE WAIT.

To begin, we sat at the chef's bar which makes you practically a sous-chef in the kitchen. You are literally on the other side of the counter. This may be the most deadly seat in the house as you can watch the entire menu as it is prepared. If you have a hard time choosing your meals, this will not make it easier! We had not planned on going anywhere for dinner that night so we were dressed in our usual weekend uniform of jeans and hoodies. Of course I was wearing my purple Wellies . It was a busy Saturday night and we stuck out like sore thumbs, but by the end of the night, I'm sure they were happy they seated us.

We started off with our appetizers, both of which were fois gras based. Dave's croquette was divine as was my terrine plate.

As our seconds, Dave enjoyed the mussels in a tomato and olive based melange that payed respect to the awesomeness of layered fresh herbs. My salad was a testament to the greatness of freshly grated cheese on anything.

Our mains did not disappoint. Dave had the lobster and shrimp dish and I had the steak. The fish was to die for and the delightful rub on the steak was a perfect frame for the care taken in its aging and preparation. We could not drive the option of the homemade squash ravioli from our minds, so we also shared a half order of them and did not regret our choice!


It should be noted, that at this point in the meal I reminded Dave that there was no shame in turning to our Greek / Roman forefathers in our time of need. Dionysus / Bacchus had a suggestion for dealing with the 'can't eat another bite' feeling. Dave simple looked at me with an unimpressed look. Good golly, it was just a suggestion! Instead we rested and digested before our final selections.

Dessert for me was tempura apple dumplings. Dave had the creme brule. We also shared the homemade berry gelato. When we were done nothing but a sprig of mint remained!

The price for our meal was well in keeping with the dynamic changes that are being seen in uptown Waterloo with the addition of higher end dining options. There is no question that the value and quality of our meal more than justified the price (which really was not outrageous). It also helped that it was annual bonus time for the Olden family!

We cannot wait to go back. In fact, we have already begun to plan our next menu choices. Since it is and ever changing menu of local produce, I suppose we will need to make it soon; poor us! ;)

March Break - Activity # 1

There are a variety of activities that Dave and I will be undertaking this March Break.  As per usual, they will revolve primarily around home improvement projects.  There were plans that we might actually take a honeymoon, but why on earth would we do that? We would rather continue to be frugal and mature with our earnings and deprive ourselves of fun in order to be debt free (please feel free to wipe up any extra sarcasm that may be getting on you).

Alas, my primary goal now is to have a number of posts up regarding the break as it unfolds, but for now, please enjoy a few pictures of the only member of the family actually enjoying the break... Miss Le Fluff herself.

Here Humphery is watching The Westminster Kennel Club finals.  No, this is not a set up, it was actually on and I was listening to it while I was sewing in the other room.  I came in to find her in this position.

Here she seems to be quite struck by Ladybug, the Portuguese Water Dog.  Later on Humphery would go on to tell me she thought that Ladybug only won her Best In Breed because she is the same breed as the Obama's dog.

Here Miss Le Fluff is caught red-pawed watching the final awarding of Best in Show.  She later reported that she felt that the winning dog, Hickory the Scottish Deerhound, was much deserving of the award.  She felt it was high time that Hickory get time in the spotlight as she would be retiring after this year.  I personally think Humphery was a little geriatrically empathetic and bias.

The Olden family would like to congratulate Hickory on her win. Bravo, Hickory, Bravo!

Ahhhh, Family Day

A view so lovely you would never
know it was the middle of February

When the Ontario government introduced the idea of a long weekend in February, I thought the idea was ridiculous, never mind the rant that ensued between myself and the T.V. about how unfair this was to the people that did not have a family, or those that did not subscribe to the idea of what is considered the 'traditional' model of a family. However, as a Canadian, who am I to throw away a long weekend given to me by the grace of the ever omniscient government?  Damn it, I was determined to make the best of it this year!

As all good family outings begin, I decided that Family Day was going to be the ideal day to look for dinning room chairs.  Nothing says family like dinning room, so hence, this was my rationale.  I convinced Dave that Stoney Creek Furniture was going to be the answer to our chairlessness. He agreed on the road trip and off we went in Dave's car (aka The Smartie).

As with every trip to the Hamilton area, we planned our schedule to include a trip to Hutch's on the beach. I was first introduced to Hutch's just prior to my moving to Hamilton (Ah, Hamilton; I can't say I was sad to leave)  when, as a right of passage you could say, Dave brought me to the hallowed location that serves the best fish and chips in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE.  Hutches was a tradition for Dave, his siblings, and his cousins when they were growing up.  Dave's Opa would bring the kids down to the beach on the weekend and inevitably end up at Hutch's. To say the very least, this is a very special place for Dave and, though it was the reason for serious weight gain while I lived down the street, it has become a very special place for me as well.

Same awesome sign with neon fries!

The ordering is simple at Hutch's.  You have a small fish and chips or you have a large.  The interior is straight from the original 50's when they first opened.  They wrap your order in newspaper and there is only one size of drink.  It is very easy to feel like you have traveled back in time and the comfort that comes from realizing that there really is somewhere in the world that has never changed is something that cannot be replaced.  The customers come from every walk of life and I always choose to sit at a booth that is next to a sweet old couple.  I like to think that they too came to this place when they were first married, then with their children and still now that they have grown old with one another.

I think I can hear my arteries crying.

The large fish and chips is bigger than one person can consume and always goes home with you.  Believe me, there are actually two giant pieces of fish below that pile of fries!

The very best part of any meal at Hutch's is the extra fries that are saved for seagulls that circle the beach outside the back door that leads to the beach. Though I know there is a very good chance that I might be crapped on,  I always throw some fries into the air to see the chaos that will ensue.  After all, tradition is tradition.

Hitchcock anyone?

Though we had some serious issues finding dinning room chairs, and came home empty handed (except for the leftovers) we found exactly what we were looking for at Hutch's. We found tradition and a chance to celebrate family. We had an amazing chance to celebrate Opa's life and memory on a beautiful day at one of his favourite places. If this isn't the point of family day, I don't know what is. 

Seriously, Like Really...Seriously?!?!

Being a secondary school teacher has eliminated some of my tendency to be surprised.  In fact, I think maybe, looking back on some of my childhood photos, I have always sported a bit of a bemused look.  I am often found saying to Dave, "seriously? Like really, seriously? Are you kidding me? " And it is always done with a sort of unimpressed look on my face.  


Lately, I have coined a few new personal catch phrases. The most important of which, is the product of my new phone.  Yes, that's right folks!  I finally gave in and purchased a new phone.  This is a really big deal because I was still using a cell phone that made me look like I should be in a re-run of Miami Vice.  My mantra was, "hell, all I need to do is call people.  What's the big deal?" And truly, it wasn't a big deal... until I started texting!!!!! Texting sucked me in and opened a new world to me.  It was EPIC!!! But, for those of you who are hip to the electronic world, I was using T9 to do so.  The result was frustration and messages that took aeons to send.  Total chaos I tell you. 


I would like to make an aside comment here...
Dave does not, and has never, had a cell phone.  This issue is something that really requires its own post.  However, he has made fun of my propensity for cell phone use since the beginning of time.  Dave helped encourage me to buy the new phone!!! 


So, as a Mac user I waited with baited breath for the new iPhone 4. That's right, the mother of all phones.  Sure it was going to be one billion dollars to purchase, but I figured that with the amount of time I kept a cell phone, this baby would pay for itself a million times over. So, after much waiting, I went to buy one.  And I was rejected. They were sold out!!!   I waited forever to finally get one and in September I finally managed to pick one up.  That was the day the world changed.  No longer was I just texting. No no, I had all the information in the world at my fingertips. Every time I started a sentence with, " I wonder who..." or "I wonder where..." I could find out the answer.  How? Well, with the help of my new awesome phone, and my new catch phrase - "TO THE APPLE!"


That's right. I am fighting the new Microsoft ad 'To the cloud' with my own gorilla tactics.  And it's working.  Now all the people I know who have the same phone have begun to repeat it. It's kind of what the guys who coined "who let the dogs out" must have felt like!


Now, awesome wordplay is not the only product from this wonderful invention.  I have started to have Dave stop and help me chronicle things for the blog.  We use to have the camera with us most of the time, but now we just use my phone. And thanks to the phone, you too can enjoy a segment of our lives we have begun calling... 

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING ME!

Entry #1
We decide we are going to enjoy a night with meat.  That's right, meat.  We have not purchased a new BBQ since moving and have no way of grilling up a steak.  We stupidly go to the local chain of sports bar and grills in our area.  They have a special, 5oz steak for some cheap price.  We laugh and give in (who really eats only 5oz of steak? We have to see it for ourselves). It comes out and looks like this:

Like really? You have got to be joking me.


Entry #1 B
Further on in our meal Dave empties a ramekin of tartar sauce from our appetizer (you have to have an appetizer if your steak is only going to be 5oz) into his potato.  Please don't ask me why you would put tartar on a potato. Then he hears a metal 'clink' from the bottom of the plastic ramekin. There is an American nickel in the sauce!!!!! My OCD goes through the roof, I almost barf. Dave continues to eat his meal as he believes there is nothing to be done at this point anyway. 

Like really?  You have got to be F***king joking me!!!!!!!!


Entry # 2
We decide to go on a very long drive to the surrounding towns in our area.  We are starving (it's starting to look like we eat out a lot) and we decide we cannot get to the next town.  We stop at a little family restaurant. We order French Onion soup and sandwiches.  Four sips into our soup our mouths start to decompose from the salt lick that is our soup.  Never mind the cheese slice that is not melted on the top.  "To The Apple" we check out a review and see that the food is rated 1 star by all five people who have rated it and that's because the website does not allow 'no star' ratings.  I recount this to Dave and he looks like this:

I believe his face is saying, you have got to be joking me!


Entry # 2B
We are leaving the town (with MSG poisoning and a hankering for a trough of water) and I have to stop to take a photo of the welcome sign into the town. The first descriptor has me killing myself laughing.  Please note, this town is by no means raised in elevation.  And, this might explain why the residents have only half a gun turret from a tank in their park and it might be why they are willing to eat just about anything...

This had me peeing my pants!  You have got to be joking me!