Seriously, Like Really...Seriously?!?!

Being a secondary school teacher has eliminated some of my tendency to be surprised.  In fact, I think maybe, looking back on some of my childhood photos, I have always sported a bit of a bemused look.  I am often found saying to Dave, "seriously? Like really, seriously? Are you kidding me? " And it is always done with a sort of unimpressed look on my face.  


Lately, I have coined a few new personal catch phrases. The most important of which, is the product of my new phone.  Yes, that's right folks!  I finally gave in and purchased a new phone.  This is a really big deal because I was still using a cell phone that made me look like I should be in a re-run of Miami Vice.  My mantra was, "hell, all I need to do is call people.  What's the big deal?" And truly, it wasn't a big deal... until I started texting!!!!! Texting sucked me in and opened a new world to me.  It was EPIC!!! But, for those of you who are hip to the electronic world, I was using T9 to do so.  The result was frustration and messages that took aeons to send.  Total chaos I tell you. 


I would like to make an aside comment here...
Dave does not, and has never, had a cell phone.  This issue is something that really requires its own post.  However, he has made fun of my propensity for cell phone use since the beginning of time.  Dave helped encourage me to buy the new phone!!! 


So, as a Mac user I waited with baited breath for the new iPhone 4. That's right, the mother of all phones.  Sure it was going to be one billion dollars to purchase, but I figured that with the amount of time I kept a cell phone, this baby would pay for itself a million times over. So, after much waiting, I went to buy one.  And I was rejected. They were sold out!!!   I waited forever to finally get one and in September I finally managed to pick one up.  That was the day the world changed.  No longer was I just texting. No no, I had all the information in the world at my fingertips. Every time I started a sentence with, " I wonder who..." or "I wonder where..." I could find out the answer.  How? Well, with the help of my new awesome phone, and my new catch phrase - "TO THE APPLE!"


That's right. I am fighting the new Microsoft ad 'To the cloud' with my own gorilla tactics.  And it's working.  Now all the people I know who have the same phone have begun to repeat it. It's kind of what the guys who coined "who let the dogs out" must have felt like!


Now, awesome wordplay is not the only product from this wonderful invention.  I have started to have Dave stop and help me chronicle things for the blog.  We use to have the camera with us most of the time, but now we just use my phone. And thanks to the phone, you too can enjoy a segment of our lives we have begun calling... 

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING ME!

Entry #1
We decide we are going to enjoy a night with meat.  That's right, meat.  We have not purchased a new BBQ since moving and have no way of grilling up a steak.  We stupidly go to the local chain of sports bar and grills in our area.  They have a special, 5oz steak for some cheap price.  We laugh and give in (who really eats only 5oz of steak? We have to see it for ourselves). It comes out and looks like this:

Like really? You have got to be joking me.


Entry #1 B
Further on in our meal Dave empties a ramekin of tartar sauce from our appetizer (you have to have an appetizer if your steak is only going to be 5oz) into his potato.  Please don't ask me why you would put tartar on a potato. Then he hears a metal 'clink' from the bottom of the plastic ramekin. There is an American nickel in the sauce!!!!! My OCD goes through the roof, I almost barf. Dave continues to eat his meal as he believes there is nothing to be done at this point anyway. 

Like really?  You have got to be F***king joking me!!!!!!!!


Entry # 2
We decide to go on a very long drive to the surrounding towns in our area.  We are starving (it's starting to look like we eat out a lot) and we decide we cannot get to the next town.  We stop at a little family restaurant. We order French Onion soup and sandwiches.  Four sips into our soup our mouths start to decompose from the salt lick that is our soup.  Never mind the cheese slice that is not melted on the top.  "To The Apple" we check out a review and see that the food is rated 1 star by all five people who have rated it and that's because the website does not allow 'no star' ratings.  I recount this to Dave and he looks like this:

I believe his face is saying, you have got to be joking me!


Entry # 2B
We are leaving the town (with MSG poisoning and a hankering for a trough of water) and I have to stop to take a photo of the welcome sign into the town. The first descriptor has me killing myself laughing.  Please note, this town is by no means raised in elevation.  And, this might explain why the residents have only half a gun turret from a tank in their park and it might be why they are willing to eat just about anything...

This had me peeing my pants!  You have got to be joking me!