Seriously, Like Really...Seriously?!?!

Being a secondary school teacher has eliminated some of my tendency to be surprised.  In fact, I think maybe, looking back on some of my childhood photos, I have always sported a bit of a bemused look.  I am often found saying to Dave, "seriously? Like really, seriously? Are you kidding me? " And it is always done with a sort of unimpressed look on my face.  


Lately, I have coined a few new personal catch phrases. The most important of which, is the product of my new phone.  Yes, that's right folks!  I finally gave in and purchased a new phone.  This is a really big deal because I was still using a cell phone that made me look like I should be in a re-run of Miami Vice.  My mantra was, "hell, all I need to do is call people.  What's the big deal?" And truly, it wasn't a big deal... until I started texting!!!!! Texting sucked me in and opened a new world to me.  It was EPIC!!! But, for those of you who are hip to the electronic world, I was using T9 to do so.  The result was frustration and messages that took aeons to send.  Total chaos I tell you. 


I would like to make an aside comment here...
Dave does not, and has never, had a cell phone.  This issue is something that really requires its own post.  However, he has made fun of my propensity for cell phone use since the beginning of time.  Dave helped encourage me to buy the new phone!!! 


So, as a Mac user I waited with baited breath for the new iPhone 4. That's right, the mother of all phones.  Sure it was going to be one billion dollars to purchase, but I figured that with the amount of time I kept a cell phone, this baby would pay for itself a million times over. So, after much waiting, I went to buy one.  And I was rejected. They were sold out!!!   I waited forever to finally get one and in September I finally managed to pick one up.  That was the day the world changed.  No longer was I just texting. No no, I had all the information in the world at my fingertips. Every time I started a sentence with, " I wonder who..." or "I wonder where..." I could find out the answer.  How? Well, with the help of my new awesome phone, and my new catch phrase - "TO THE APPLE!"


That's right. I am fighting the new Microsoft ad 'To the cloud' with my own gorilla tactics.  And it's working.  Now all the people I know who have the same phone have begun to repeat it. It's kind of what the guys who coined "who let the dogs out" must have felt like!


Now, awesome wordplay is not the only product from this wonderful invention.  I have started to have Dave stop and help me chronicle things for the blog.  We use to have the camera with us most of the time, but now we just use my phone. And thanks to the phone, you too can enjoy a segment of our lives we have begun calling... 

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING ME!

Entry #1
We decide we are going to enjoy a night with meat.  That's right, meat.  We have not purchased a new BBQ since moving and have no way of grilling up a steak.  We stupidly go to the local chain of sports bar and grills in our area.  They have a special, 5oz steak for some cheap price.  We laugh and give in (who really eats only 5oz of steak? We have to see it for ourselves). It comes out and looks like this:

Like really? You have got to be joking me.


Entry #1 B
Further on in our meal Dave empties a ramekin of tartar sauce from our appetizer (you have to have an appetizer if your steak is only going to be 5oz) into his potato.  Please don't ask me why you would put tartar on a potato. Then he hears a metal 'clink' from the bottom of the plastic ramekin. There is an American nickel in the sauce!!!!! My OCD goes through the roof, I almost barf. Dave continues to eat his meal as he believes there is nothing to be done at this point anyway. 

Like really?  You have got to be F***king joking me!!!!!!!!


Entry # 2
We decide to go on a very long drive to the surrounding towns in our area.  We are starving (it's starting to look like we eat out a lot) and we decide we cannot get to the next town.  We stop at a little family restaurant. We order French Onion soup and sandwiches.  Four sips into our soup our mouths start to decompose from the salt lick that is our soup.  Never mind the cheese slice that is not melted on the top.  "To The Apple" we check out a review and see that the food is rated 1 star by all five people who have rated it and that's because the website does not allow 'no star' ratings.  I recount this to Dave and he looks like this:

I believe his face is saying, you have got to be joking me!


Entry # 2B
We are leaving the town (with MSG poisoning and a hankering for a trough of water) and I have to stop to take a photo of the welcome sign into the town. The first descriptor has me killing myself laughing.  Please note, this town is by no means raised in elevation.  And, this might explain why the residents have only half a gun turret from a tank in their park and it might be why they are willing to eat just about anything...

This had me peeing my pants!  You have got to be joking me!

A little piece of light...

For  over a decade I have had the amazing opportunity to have one of the most fabulous women in the whole world as my best friend. Funny enough, we certainly did not start off as friends; rather, we were archrivals. 

When I was a bright eyed and eager student (please insert sarcasm), my high school had a very small population; 300 students at the very most when I was in grade 9. The reason being, we were to be the third graduating class from this newly formed secondary school that was created to serve the students of "the north" in the school board. This descriptor is ridiculous for so many reasons; one being that the school is 45 minutes from Toronto. However, I digress…

In grade 9 I was a sweet, mostly innocent, very neurotic girl who was very intelligent and very under motivated. I knew I was bright but I really couldn’t care less about academic achievement because I had discovered the glorious world of older boys! That was so much better to focus on than “Le Geographie du Monde” (I was in French Immersion).  Then I entered my English class… 

I remember that I sat in a group of six. At the time, the government was attempting a lame experiment in what they called “destreaming”.  Simply, the perceived academic level of students was mixed in one class. Though this "let’s hold hands and sing Kumbaya to warm the hearts of all the students" approach was delightful in theory, it didn’t last long. In retrospect it may have actually been some sort of provincial Darwinian experiment. The product being students who were willing to eat the weak for breakfast and make themselves feel better as they battled against their genius rivals. This was exactly the environment of my English class, and this fateful English class was where Kari Lyn and I eyed each other from afar and began our battle for supremacy in the pack.  I did not care to be top of my class, but I cared about being better than Kari Lyn. The same was true of her.  The problem was, we were both bright and the competition was stiff.

Now, not to get too far into the Magic Carpet Ride that was my high school career, but with the school being as small as it was, it was easy to know everyone; if not by name, than at least by face.  I was a bit of a social butterfly.  I hung out with almost every group of people really. I don’t remember them as cliques per say, but maybe they were. I had one group of friends I was closest to, but I really can say that I was lucky enough to be able to associate with most people.  When our senior classes came along the classes were very small. I was in class with Kari Lyn almost every period of the day. Then finally, in World Geography the worst happened… Mr. Bradley sat us together. 


We had gotten to know each other better over the years as we were both on Student Council, but there was still a rivalry.  We were there to outdo each other and that’s what we did. Until one day, we decided on a truce. We were both going to give in because by this time the teachers just gave us the same marks to keep us quiet. We realized that we were stronger together than we were apart… look out world!

Over the past years we have had our share of serious ups and downs, but we have always been there for one another.  When Kari Lyn and her husband had their first son I was chosen to be his godmother.  Whenever we have had the world deal us a crappy hand, we have known that the other was just a call away.  Then the worst happened, Kari Lyn’s mom got sick.

Kari Lyn’s mom, Karin, impressed me the moment I met her.  I remember it like yesterday. We were at school for some event hosted by the Student Council and Kari Lyn’s parents were in attendance. Her father walked in at a strapping 6 foot 8 inches following the cutest little thing you could imagine; a women, all of 5 foot tall in a wheelchair, that had a smile that lit up the room.  From that moment, both her parents took me on as their fourth child. They have treated me as such since that day. 

Karin had always been in a wheelchair.  She was born with Spina bifida and had never let it effect the way she looked at life.  She had an intense faith in God and believed that with his help, anything was possible.  The fact that she was in a chair never came into question. She gave birth to three children and took care of all of their needs as she raised them with her husband.  Though she was told at an early age that she would have a short life, she continued her whole life to defy medicine and the limitations that others put upon her.  She was a huge spirit in a little body. 


A little over two years ago she had not been feeing well and in a divine turn of events she and her husband were in a car accident.  The emergency surgery that followed the accident revealed that she had cancer.  To say the least, everyone was devastated. Following mind-blowing surgeries, Karin forced on and fought the disease. To be frank, I don’t think anyone was surprised. There was never a moment I ever saw Karin back down from any form of adversity. This Christmas Karin was feeling in better spirits.  She enjoyed the holiday with her family and shared quality time.  Then her body began to fight back.  After a courageous battle with cancer, her disease and the complications that come with it defeated the woman I considered to be like a second mom. She passed away last Saturday.

There is no amount of writing that could ever adequately express my respect and admiration for Karin. Though I must tell you that my best friend is an absolutely amazing depiction of the values and tenacity that her mother had.  At the risk of sounding cliché and pouring out platitudes, I will say that there is no replacement for any of us on this planet.  Each of us is a unique and divine creation that imprints upon the others we are blessed enough to meet. I am a better person for having known such an extraordinary woman, and it is my responsibility to carry on a piece of her light now that she cannot do it here on earth. I only hope I can do it half as well as she did it!